Buying a first toy together is a different job from buying one for yourself. It has to work for two bodies, it has to survive the conversation about it, and it should not cost so much that it feels like a commitment. These are the toys in the shop that do that best, with a line on how to use each one the first time so nobody is left holding a remote and a blank expression.

Plain box, tracked UK delivery, free over £30, and here is what the parcel and your statement show. 18+ only.

Before you buy anything: the five-minute version of the conversation

Most couples skip this and then wonder why the toy stayed in the drawer. Each of you says one thing you would like to try, one thing you are unsure about, and one thing that is a no. That is it. If you want a longer version, the Yes / No / Maybe list is printable, and the guide to asking for what you want covers safewords in plain English.

The couples shortlist

Wireless Vibrating Love Egg (remote controlled) – £29.99

Good for: The couple that wants one toy that is genuinely for both of you.

Why: One of you wears it, the other holds the remote. Silicone, quiet, and over £30 on its own so delivery is free. One of my favourites for exactly this.

First night: Low setting, at home, no audience. Save the restaurant for when you both trust the remote.

Stretchy Cock Ring – £5.99

Good for: Any couple with a penis in the mix, as the cheapest possible first experiment.

Why: Firmer, longer, a little more sensation for both of you. A basic stretchy ring is exactly what a first one should be. Down from £8.99 until 30 November.

First night: Lube on the ring, on before things get going, off if there is any discomfort. Never worn for long stretches.

Vibrating Cock Ring – £19.99

Good for: Couples who want the ring to do something for the partner on the receiving end too.

Why: The vibrating bump sits where it is useful during sex. The simplest way to add a vibrator to penetrative sex without anyone holding anything.

First night: Try the vibration off first, then on. Position matters more than power.

Blindfold – £7.99

Good for: Everyone. There is no couple this does not work for.

Why: Take sight away and every other sense turns up. It also quietly fixes the problem of not knowing where to look.

First night: One of you wears it, the other does the slowest thing they can think of. That is the whole instruction.

Set of Bondage Restraints – from £12.99

Good for: Couples curious about restraint who do not want to spend on a full kit yet.

Why: The cheapest honest way to find out whether it is your thing, and a favourite of mine for that reason.

First night: Wrists only, something soft to lie on, and the blindfold. Agree a word that means stop before anything is tied.

Bondage Tape – £24.99

Good for: Couples who liked the restraints and want more options without buckles.

Why: Sticks only to itself, not to skin or hair, so it comes off without drama and goes back on next week.

First night: Wrists, then ankles, then stop. Cutting it off with scissors is faster than unwinding it.

Waterproof Bullet Vibrator – £14.99

Good for: Couples who want a small external toy to bring into sex rather than replace it.

Why: Small enough to hold between two bodies, waterproof enough for the bath or shower together. Down from £24.99 until 30 November.

First night: One of you holds it, the other says where. Swap.

Strap-On Harness – £25.99

Good for: Couples ready for a bigger step, of any gender combination.

Why: A harness is the piece most people get wrong first time, so start with a harness that fits rather than a dildo that looks good. The fit guide covers sizing and O-rings.

First night: Fit it with clothes on, on a normal evening, before the night you plan to use it.

Shop the couples shortlist

Three starter sets

• Softest possible start, £20: Blindfold + Stretchy Cock Ring + a water-based lube from the chemist.
• The remote night, £37.98: Love Egg + Blindfold.
• Curious about restraint, £35.97: Bondage Restraints + Blindfold + Waterproof Bullet.

What I would skip as a first couples toy

• Anything app-controlled. Fun in month three. In week one it is two people staring at a pairing screen.
• Double-ended toys like the U-Shaped Double Dildo as a first buy. Great later, awkward first.
• Big kits. You will use two things out of twelve. Buy the two.

Not sure?

Ask Libby and I will send three picks for the pair of you within 24 hours, free and private. If one of you is the nervous one, the beginners guide is written for exactly that person.