The Toy Cleaning Schedule: What to Do When (Printable)

Everyone knows toys need cleaning; almost nobody knows how often, or that the answer changes completely depending on what the toy is made of. Here is the whole routine as a printable schedule — print it, stick it in the drawer, stop thinking about it.

First, know which column you are in

Check the material on each product listing. Non-porous — silicone, glass, stainless steel, ABS plastic — has a surface water and soap can actually clean. Porous — jelly, TPE, TPR, PVC and most “realistic” soft blends — has microscopic pockets that soap cannot fully reach, which is why those toys can be washed but never truly sterilised. Our materials guide explains the names; the rules below follow from them.

After every use — everything, no exceptions

Warm water and plain unscented soap, thirty seconds of actual attention including ridges and seams, rinse, then dry fully with a clean cloth or air — damp is how funk starts. Motorised toys that are not rated submersible get a wrung-out soapy cloth wipe instead of a dunk, keeping water away from charging ports. That is it: half a minute, every time, including before first use.

Weekly, if a toy is in regular rotation

Give chargers, cables and storage pouches a look, make sure everything went back dry, and top up batteries — lithium cells kept at zero die young, and a dead toy at the wrong moment is its own tragedy.

Monthly

Deep clean the non-porous, non-motorised pieces: pure silicone, glass and steel with no electronics can be boiled for three to five minutes or run through a 10% bleach solution, then rinsed thoroughly. Inspect everything else: nicks and tears in soft surfaces, tackiness, cloudiness or any smell that survives washing — those are retirement notices, not quirks. Wipe down leather and check metal hardware for rust spots.

Every few months

Audit the drawer. Porous toys in regular use are honestly at their best for a matter of months — if a jelly or TPE piece is sticky, discoloured or smells of anything, thank it for its service and replace it (this is also the argument for using condoms on porous toys from day one, especially if sharing). Wash fabric pouches and blindfolds, condition leather, air out rope.

The printable schedule

WhenNon-porous (silicone, glass, steel, ABS)Porous (jelly, TPE/TPR, PVC)Gear (leather, rope, metal)
Every useWarm water + soap, dry fullyWarm water + soap, dry fully — condoms strongly worth itWipe down, dry before storing
WeeklyCheck charge, store dryCheck for tackiness startingCheck fastenings and hardware
MonthlyBoil or 10% bleach (no electronics), inspectInspect closely — retire at the first sign of wearCondition leather, check for rust
QuarterlyFull drawer auditAssume replacement is due; be pleasantly surprisedWash pouches, air rope

Three rules that cover most mistakes

Water-based lube with everything; silicone lube can attack silicone toys (patch-test somewhere invisible if you must). Store pieces separately — soft materials pressed together can react and go tacky, and a fabric pouch each is the cheapest insurance there is. Never boil anything with a motor, however waterproof the listing says it is.

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